I’m going to have a little section in my little, cozy corner called Truthful Tuesdays. Im going to get a little real and talk about things that aren’t so light that other moms may be feeling like myself. It may not be every single week but ill try and do it as often as I can. For this week’s topic ill be talking about how summertime and my inner struggles have pushed blogging to the back burner.
I talked a little before about how absent I’ve been on the blog and sort of on social media as well, we’ve had a lot going on. Not anything too hectic but enough to pull me away from my “online presence”. It’s also summer and I really do try to cherish every moment I have with Bub. I’m one of those stage 5 clinger moms that literally HATES that their child is in school because I miss him so much. So summer time is my favorite because I get him alllllll to myself! I also enjoy being able to have slow moments with him. I actually get to sit and talk with him while he eats breakfast instead of running around, getting his lunch & clothes together while making breakfast for Johnathan. We get to play, and color, and build things, and learn, and my personal favorite; cuddle together.
I remember when we first moved to Bragg and our information packet they sent us had school info inside. I was in total shock because I didn’t realize how close he was to starting school. While I didn’t need to send him to Pre-K, I knew that it was best for him because he was lacking in the social department being an only child. I still remember his first day of Pre-K driving away in my truck alone, following Johnathan Home but going maybe 5mph because I didn’t want him to see me crying. It was half day Pre-K that he didn’t even eat lunch at school. Dramatic, I know, but it still broke my heart. Kinder was even worse! He was gone all day and I was always counting down the minutes until I could pick him up. By no surprise, I couldn’t wait for summer!
He’s been out of school going on a month now and I feel like the summer is flying by! And while I definitely have been enjoying spending all my time with my (not-so-little) little one, I realized that I needed to get back into doing what I love for myself. I’ve struggled with anxiety for a while now and sometimes it’s hard for me to let things go, not over think, or not have “Mom/wife guilt” when I don’t do exactly what I need to do when I think I need to do it. That guilt for taking time for yourself thinking that its somehow “selfish” or your house is going to be a wreck because you didn’t immediately wash your coffee cup. Yeah that guilt. That one that may seems so silly to others can sometimes be debilitating to some. A reason I started this blog was to help me take my mind off of those worries and share little snippets of my life. For me it can be so therapeutic to write for a couple of minutes. It gives me the same type of calm writing in a journal gave me as a kid. I have so many people and friends tell me how much they love what I post. Whether it’s a recipe, or craft, or one too many photos of Christopher, and that brings my heart so much joy. So I’m sitting here, sipping my coffee, with a laundry basket waiting for me to fold, but instead I chose to put it off for 5 more minutes to write this post.
Because sometimes, things can wait.
Thanks for reading!